Adventures of a "Better Connecticut Driver"

So I'm sitting here in "A Better Connecticut Driver" class. I guess I got pulled over one too many times.  I'm not proud of myself.  The teacher hands us a packet and asks us to answer the questions on page 5. First question: Why does it take authority to make us drive correctly?  My response: Because sometimes its hard to understand why certain rules exist. Second question: if a driver's license is so important, why do people jeopardize it? Response: Because rules are made to be broken. Third question: Do some people feel they can do as they please when it comes to driving? Response: As they should.

How was I supposed to take that seriously? How.

Now, I am convinced that Vito Corleone is in my class. When he talks he sounds exactly like The Godfather. Aside from his unique voice, his outfit is completely outrageous. He is wearing a Hawaiian-type shirt which is maroon and sea green with Aztecan symbols all over it. He is wearing a black and white studded belt that looks like it came from hot topic, and he's wearing cameo army pants. His shoes are what make the outfit however. They are hard to describe because they are so ridiculous. They are purple and silver and are dress shoes. Vito looks about 58. This guy is a character.

So there is Vito and then there is the kid who has taken this class three times. Then there is Lyme's disease woman. I call her this because she proceeded to have a very long cell phone conversation on her cell phone about the huge tick she found in her bed and about how her dog used to have Lyme's disease. (Not everyone needs to know). Barbie is sitting behind me, her violation was misuse of license plates which I assume means she had something girly and decorative around her plates which is apparently illegal, even the plastic things that car dealers put around your plates are technically illegal, and so are air fresheners. And I didn't yet mention the crazy man who is so crazy that he is indescribable. Picture a drunken crazy overzealous man and give him a car. One of the questions on our test was how many drinks does it take to affect your driving and the options were 1, 2, 3, or 4. Crazy guy said "none of these options are true! It's way higher for me." And then he proceeded to say "they didn't say nothin' about sippin' and driving," after being told that drinking and driving is not ok.

The teacher asks "how may of you have been tailgated by a cop?" Crazy man says "I mean to brake him next time!"

Although I did learn in this class to always fight a ticket and always take a ticket to court, always. I will do so in the future. The teacher also said straight up, the fact that my car is red is an absolute reason for getting a ticket in itself. Note to self, next car needs to be beige.

This class was a hysterical experience and I recommend that if you want something amusing to do on a Saturday morning, just get a few moving violations and you're on your way to the most interesting Saturday morning you'll ever have.