El Sur de Francia

So I get on the bus to El Sur De Francia and I sit in the back because I assume that I will not really know anyone on the trip. Worst decision ever because that's apparently where all the dumb people sit. No, that's mean. Not the dumb people, the, ummm, loud people. So I get back there and can’t help but overhear these girls talking about their night and the one girl goes “god whoever my roommate is I hope she puts her stuff in the room and then leaves for the rest of the night cuz I need my space” blah blah and I’m like “oh god I hope she’s not my roommate.” There are 50 other people on the bus so I figure the chances are rather slim. Anyway, eventually they quiet down and I can sleep/whatever. When we arrive in France we get assigned our roommate. And you guessed it, I’m roomed with the girl that was like “god whoever my roommate is…” because that just would happen to me.

We go visit this castle in Caracassone. The tour was very nice but the highlight of the day was when the French tour guide asked me what New York used to be called before it was called New York. I was like “I know this!” and then I proceeded to quote They Might Be Giants in order to recall the answer. He didn’t know what was happening. I win at life.

That night we find this sweet outdoor wine festival happening in the town we were staying in. There was this really cool DJ who was playing the cheesy 80’s music I love: Prince, MJ, Blondie. At one point the DJ holds up a bottle of Vodka and offers it to the crowd so I wgo up there and he gives me the entire bottle of Vodka and a chaser and then asks us if we’re Americans (the intense excitement over free alcohol must give it away).

Next day, I went to lunch with a few friends and we were having trouble communicating with the waiter, he was trying to explain to us the food of the day but he didn’t know the word for sheep so he goes “mom baaaaaaa, has baby baaaaaaaaa” in attempt to tell us that the item De Jour was sheep veal. We turn to the people sitting next to us to see if they can clarify some other questionable items on the menu. They go “we don’t speak French we’re from England, we communicate in sign language” and then proceed to flap there arms like chickens so show us how they order chicken.

Later that evening we take a boat ride. We are sitting in the boat and there is a bridge that we can’t fit under because it doesn’t lift up and I don’t understand how we are going to get under the bridge. I sarcastically say “what are we going to drain all the water or something and magically fit under the bridge?” That's exactly what happened. Apparently it’s called “Controlled Drainage.” Who knew?

PS. Do I excessively use quotation marks?

Next day, Kassidy and I go into a shop and she buys a scarf, which gets me thinking that I miss knitting. So I find this wool shop and decide to buy some yarn and some needles. The shop lady is rapidly speaking French to me and I say “Pardona, Hablo Ingles o Espanol” but this doesn’t stop her and neither does my incessant shoulder shrugging. I manage to point to needles and say “trois” and she understood I was asking for size three needles and handed them to me. I walk into the room with all of the yarn and she follows me and is talking to me really fast in French and before I even begin to look around the room she grabs my arm and shows me this pink-purply yarn and tells me I need three balls of the yarn then brings be to the counter takes away my size three needles and gives me size 6 needles and then rings me up. I had no idea what was happening the entire time. I went in there and she had made every single decision for me and I couldn’t even argue because I can’t speak French. It was just like “uhh, ok I guess, I…uhh, ok, uhh, sure, yeah, umm...ok.” But yarn is yarn and needles are needles,,,I guess.

In the end I think France is so beautiful but I don’t foresee myself going back without someone I know who can speak fluent French because I am too uncomfortable with the language. And the French are offended if you don't speak their language. Oh well.