So this unfortunate event happened over a year ago, but I haven't been able to bring myself to write about it until now. Mostly, because I know that my extended family would/will judge me for this.
So i'm living on Long Island. It's my first day at work in Manhattan and simultaneously my first day living on Long Island. I manage to find my way walking to the train station in the morning (the station being minutes from home), but on my way home after sunset I become a bit lost.
Before I go into detail about my confusing and frustrating adventure home, let me diverge on my outfit of the day. I'm wearing a tight dress, black leggings and heels (of course.) I am wearing sunglasses, not because it's particularly sunny, but because I am experiencing corneal abrasions causing me to tear up and have extreme aversion to any light whatsoever (let me remind you this is my first day of work, I later find out they think of me as a freak because of the sunglasses that I wore in the office all day, yet did not think to explain.)
Anyway, so I get off the train on L.I. and begin to walk home in what I believe is the right direction; I know for a fact I got off at the right stop. After about a half hour of walking I realize that I'm not walking down the right streets; I'm not recognizing anything. So I go back to where I started and try again. No luck, this time I walk around for about an hour and I cannot for the life of me figure out where I am.
I begin to get frustrated as at this point it is a) about 1am, b) I'm in heels, c) I have corneal abrasions, thus am STILL wearing sunglasses and am in extreme pain. (by the way, corneal abrasions = AVOID AT ALL COSTS, UNBEARABLE PAIN I TELL YOU).
SO I am beginning to lose hope, I'm wandering around aimlessly trying to figure out what to do. Then I think to myself, "aha! Applebees! I saw an Applebees down the way and it's still open!" So I walk to the Applebees and I go inside and ask the entire restaurant if anyone knows where Eastern Avenue is.
Now I know for fact that Eastern Avenue is not far from the Applebees. I'm not sure exactly WHERE it is (obviously), but I assume that a local would know as they are in its very proximity. But alas, no one can help me, no one. There must be 15 people in the Applebees, yet no one has heard of Eastern Avenue. So, I leave, and I continue to walk around aimlessly. The thoughts running through my head consist of things like "I should just lay down here and fall asleep on this random person's lawn and get back on the train in the morning" and "I'm going to die cold, alone, in heels, with a slutty dress on and corneal abrasions" and "Why? Why can't I find where I'm going? I'm gonna die on the streets of Bellmore."
Sidenote: I didn't want to call anyone because I was embarrassed that I got lost when the walk home is was simple. Only I could screw up so bad.
So anyway, I'm walking around aimlessly at 2am when a car pulls up next to me on a random street I was straggling down. The person in the car rolls down their window and says "Hey! I figured out where Eastern Avenue is. I'm the guy from Applebees. Get in the car!" In an act of desperation, I get in the car. Turns out, the guy is a mailman (and on a separate note, how does a mailman not IMMEDIATELY know where a main street is??). Anyway, this "mailman" drives me home. I tend to my corneal abrasions and my faith in humanity is temporarily restored.
The next day I am telling the guys at work about my unfortunate adventure and their response is "ohh the guy from Applebees, ok, if it was TGI Friday's never mind, but he was from Applebees, that's safe."
